I I think we've found the only person in the world I can dance better than.
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#AsAKidIThought I wouldn't need a permission slip to do what I want. And then I met the government.
#AsAKidIThought I thought sex was a lot of trouble to go through to have a baby.
#AsAKidIThought I could change the world. Only the world changed me.
#AsAKidIThought I would no longer have to deal with schoolyard bullies when I became an adult. And then Trump got elected.
#AsAKidIThought I thought once I left home, I got to make the rules under my roof. The government laughed at me.
#AsAKidIThought I thought Lincoln and FDR were great. And then I learned real history.
#AsAKidIThought I thought there were differences between Democrats and Republicans. And then Bush, Obama and Trump were elected.
#FakeOlympicsFacts Team USA gets bonus medals if officials hear you yell: "USA! USA! USA!"
#FakeOlympicsFacts An Olympic gold metal is made of 100% real gold.
